Sex Txt

Curious about sex?

Where is the G-spot? Does it really exist? How do sexologists study sex? What are they studying it for anyhow? What’s the deal with sexual arousal and the brain? Questions, questions, questions – do you have others? Then come to the Dana Centre café with your mobile and text us your burning questions. Or, if you are too tired to get out of bed to attend, join in online.

We’ll have a panel of sex experts seated in our café, by their laptops, waiting to receive your questions. They’ll answer questions ranging from your sexual feelings and thoughts through to sex and drugs.

Your sexually curious texts will appear anonymously, one at a time, on the giant screens in the café. The expert replies will then be projected back on screen alongside your questions.

Our panel ranges from online agony experts Petra Boynton and Patrick French through to scientific researchers who have been studying our sexual habits in depth over many years, such as Roy Levin and John Bancroft from the Kinsey Institute. We will also be joined by experts with a more cultural viewpoint, including Daniel Gluck, Director of New York’s Museum of Sex, and Annie Potts from New Zealand.

All texts and e-mails are charged at providers’ standard rates. No additional charges apply.

This event is funded by the Wellcome Trust.

Event organised by:
The Science Museum

Panelists

On-site speakers

Petra Boynton: Psychologist from University College London and online Agony Aunt

Patrick French: Consultant in Genitourinary Medicine, HIV Physician representative on the Sexual Health and HIV Independent Advisory Group and Online Agony Uncle

Roy Levin: Awarded the gold medal for lifetime services to sexology and women's sexual health by the World Association of Sexology.

Online speakers

Annie Potts: Author of 'The Science Fiction of Sex' and also researches 'viagra culture'. An enthusiastic writer on sexual politics, research and culture.

Questions and Replies

These are some of the questions and answers from the event.

Do animals enjoy sex?

Yes, it seems that they can. Bonobos seem to enjoy purely recreational sex – Patrick

Well, we’re animals too, so yes! Like humans, other animals enjoy sex sometimes; and other times, maybe not so much. If you’re keen to know more about animals and sexual enjoyment, check out Pleasurable Kingdom by Jonathan Balcombe. He has a whole chapter on animals and sexual pleasure - Annie

Why is sex so pleasurable? Is it all about continuing mankind or is there something deeper to it?

Sex is much more than procreation. Sexual pleasure has more to do with what a culture determines as pleasurable and acceptable (or subversive) at any given time, than it has to do with genitals and reproduction. For example, solitary sex (masturbation), a form of sex once outlawed, is now considered healthy and ‘normal’ – and pleasurable! And it doesn’t lead to babies … - Annie

Is it possible to get an std or sti from any thing other than full penetrative sex?

Yes. Some infections that can be sexually transmitted like crabs and scabies are transmitted by skin to skin contact. Other STIs (like syphilis and herpes) can be and often are transmitted by oral sex. But other STIs (like gonorrhoea, Chlamydia and HIV) almost always need unprotected sex for transmission - Patrick

What do you consider to be good sex education? At what age should it begin?

It should be about emotional aspect of sex and not just biology. It should start (with age appropriate content) at primary school and should be compulsory - Patrick

Is it possible to get stds or stis when both partners are only sleeping with each other,and werent infected beforehand?

No. They don’t arise spontaneously - Patrick

Do women who masturbate reach orgasm more easily when with a partner?

This, like most other questions about sex, depends on the individual. Some women find that masturbating has helped them to know what they enjoy, and how their body responds to different things, and this knowledge can assist them to enhance pleasure when they are with another person. - Annie

How 2 make sperm taste sweet?

Eat a lolly afterwards? - Annie

Which sexual position is best for the greatest enjoyment for both?

Whatever they enjoy the most. Everyone is different, there’s no best position - Annie

Do you - like psychoanalysts - believe that sex is at the heart of all human behaviour?

No. Sex is so important in western cultures because of the way we have constructed sexuality as integral to our identities; but other cultures place less emphasis on sex and individual identity. Human behaviour is also greatly influenced by other things (eg grief, hunger, anger …) - Annie

Should one have an enema before anal sex and can i do it myself and which one is the best? there's so many advertised on the internet ?

No, there is no need to have an enema before anal sex. The enema can cause tears in the lining of the anus. Of course to use a condom and plenty of water based lube when you have anal sex - Patrick

What is the best sexual position for orgasm?

Again this varies from individual to individual, and depends on what kind of sex you’re having. Penetrative sex doesn’t reliably result in orgasms for women – as many women can testify – but other kinds of sexual activity might be more likely to induce or enhance orgasm - Annie

Is there any genetic element (pre-determination) who do u find sexually attractive?

I don’t believe so. What (or who) is considered sexually attractive varies across cultures and times and has more to do with human constructions of beauty, sexuality and desirability, than with any genetic predisposition to certain looks or body types - Annie

Is sex addiction real?

It's more commonly expressed as an 'addiction' in parts of the US and in the media. Some people do have problems with high sex drives accompanied by other psychological problems (e.g manic episodes). Often 'sex addiction' is used to describe someone who has cheated, likes sex, or is interested in porn - which can be a problem but may not be a clinical 'addiction'. – Petra

People can certainly feel like they need sex desperately – and often - but the notion of sex ‘addiction’ is a particularly western cultural phenomenon. Some social theorists argue that sex addiction – like other addictions – is a post-1970s medical (and psychological) invention. Eg, sex addiction is the new term for nymphomania? - Annie

Are women's orgasms stronger than men's?

Orgasmic experience depends on the individual, rather than whether you are a man or a woman. Some women’s orgasms will be stronger than men’s, some men will experience stronger orgasms than women - Annie

How strong are condoms?

Very strong. Most breaks are due to them being put on incorrectly or there not being enough lubrication - Patrick

Can women take Viagra?

Women can take Viagra, but it probably won’t do much for them (except produce an oversensitive clitoris and/or a headache; at least this is what some women have reported). To enhance pleasurable genital sensations, there are some topical crèmes catering for women. Drug companies are racing to find sex drugs for women that will be as lucrative as Viagra (for men) has been, but to date it’s more hype than substance - Annie

Is sexual preference nature or nurture?

Big question. No clear answer. The general agreement is that it is a bit of both. Twin studies and cross cultural studies confirm a, as yet obscure, genetic component. – Patrick

Many factors impact on sexual preference– including things such as past experiences, openness to difference and experimentation, where a person lives and what messages they receive about sexuality etc. Some biologists argue for a gay gene or gay brain, but nature and nurture are so intertwined it would be difficult to separate these aspects - Annie

What's the biggest human sexual organ?

Take your pick - the skin or the brain - Roy Some scientists argue it's the brain, others claim it's the skin. The organ that gets the biggest amount of worries about it is the penis :-) Petra

Can women ejaculate?

Some women do produce a lot of fluid when they orgasm but people can't agree if it's urine or ejaculatory fluid. Some people believe if a woman doesn't ejaculate she's not had a proper orgasm - which makes for bad sex. Instead just enjoy it whether you get very wet or not - Petra

Do men have a g-spot?

If you want to stimulate the prostate digitally via the rectum to arouse a man you could say that you are stimulating his G spot - Roy

Do men want sex more than women?

One simple answer... YES! - Roy

Men tend to say they want sex more than women on sex surveys, but that may be because they feel they should. Gaps between the amounts men and women say they want sex in surveys are closing - Petra

What's the difference between men's and women's orgasms?

Women are capable of more than one orgasm without much time in between. Men and women describe their orgasms differently. There's probably as many differences within the genders as between them - Petra

How much is too much sex?

If it makes you feel uncomfortable or is causing you distress it might be seen as too much, but there is no set limit on what is the 'right' amount of sex. Most people have sex less than you would think – Petra

You can never have too much of a good thing but men's capacity for thrilling sex is ejaculation limited - Roy

Does penis size matter?

It matters a lot to men. Around 80% of letters to problem pages from men are about size worries. For heterosexual couples women say length is not as important as width. Gay men are often under more pressure to be 'big' - Petra

I get about the same sensation from stimulating my clitoris as I do from stimulating my earlobes. How abnormal is this, and is there anything I can do about it?

Who cares? If it works for you enjoy it. Just be careful rubbing those earlobes in public :-) Petra

How common is it to always come at the same time as your partner?

It is difficult to time orgasm so that you come together and generally it needs a lot of skill if you come together you also miss the sight of your partner's orgasm - for some it is a goal to find for others the quest is not worth it - Roy

Uncommon and over-rated. It's not that likely to happen in reality and people shouldn't feel pressure to experience it - Annie

My girlfriend is always totally silent during sex. is this common? any thoughts on how to persuade her to 'let go' more?

Very common. She's probably just fine and won't need to 'let go'. In porn women make a lot of noise to signify orgasm - but this is staged. You can ask her if there's anything else she might like sexually but don't feel you have to do more things or make her make a noise just to prove something to you - or to show she's having a good time (it'll just put more pressure on her) - Petra

Can you ever get stuck? is it possible?

No this isn’t possible although it can happen with dogs!! - Patrick

Ejaculation. some men shoot, some dribble. why is this and is it genetic?

It depends on the strength of the pelvic muscles - just like any function that needs muscle power some men are stronger than others but you can develop your pelvic muscles by exercising them - Roy

Can you catch an STD from toilet seats?

No but watch out if you have any open sores! – Roy

No (apart from in a really really bizarre set of circumstances!!) - Patrick

Do women who do yoga enjoy sex more?

If you are physically healthy you may experience fewer sex problems. Doing yoga may make you more in tune with your body so you're better able to enjoy sex - or more willing to try and explore sex - Petra

How do condoms have an effect on sensation?

Condoms can reduce sensation a bit because they are a barrier between your partner and the nerves in the head of the penis that give you friction sensation during sex. Using thinner condoms or the newer polyurethane condom (avanti) makes it less of an issue - Patrick

Can I have an STD and not know it?

Yes!! It is possible to have any of the 30 or so STDs without symptoms. Most people with the two most important STDs in the UK (chlamydia and HIV) have no symptoms - Patrick